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(1 | ///)

[24 Feb 2006|01:07am]

...because i honestly need another way to avoid term papers.


[24 Jan 2006|09:28pm]
short hair again, on a whim. i like it.
things are so-so. leaning towards good.

(2 | ///)

[17 Jan 2006|11:31am]
[ mood | :) ]

new address, finally
72 egmont st, apt #2
brookline MA 02446.
send me things.

ps. the flatmates are completely fabulous,
we bake cakes and watch heath ledger movies together.
<3 <3 <3

(1 | ///)

[31 Dec 2005|06:29pm]
for 2006, my resolutions are set. things will be fine. smile.

happy new year! love you.

(2 | ///)

[29 Dec 2005|12:26am]
i wish bruce springsteen would realize that he's just not that cool anymore. the rising was a terrible idea.


[25 Dec 2005|04:05pm]
i'm in the mood for dancing.

happy chanukah, merry christmas, happy everything! love you.

(4 | ///)

[07 Nov 2005|02:47am]
i cannot stop smiling.

(1 | ///)

[14 Oct 2005|09:48am]
[ mood | theater high. you understand. ]

"bye bye birdie" this weekend. albert, hugo, conrad, and harry: you boys light up my life.

"and then there were none" first week of november. come see it, the costumes will be pro.

it feels so good to be back in the theater. i feel more comfortable in the wings than in the audience. and it's taken until now to realize just how much i've missed this.

(4 | ///)

[07 Oct 2005|08:32am]
[ mood | fiestaaaa. ]

19, hello.

(6 | ///)

[29 Sep 2005|11:03am]
sick. send love.
it smells like october.

the real problems...

my house is sandwiched between two brushfires, neither very well contained. my dad's at the one in simi, he's been there for a couple days and it doesn't look like they'll be discharged anytime soon. he's on the older end of the spectrum as far as firefighters go, and i worry more about him these days. the wildfires are hard on him, and he doesn't want to admit it. i love him, and he loves his job, and all i can do is support that.

i've been sick for a full week. finally am recovering with the help of antibiotics, cough syrup, and a lot of naps. this problem has started to resolve itself. no point dwelling on it.

i've been seeing a boy named chris who lives in cambridge. the dating part didn't really work; but we became friends, and i was happy with this. today i received an email from him, saying that it's "probably best if we head our own separate ways. sorry for ending it so abruptly." remember the episode of sex and the city where berger breaks it off with carrie through a post-it note? yeah, it's like that. i'd love to at least be broken up in a respectable way. emails are not mature, nor do they offer any closure whatsoever. he's off my buddy list, phone book, everything. the end.

birthdays. i can't stand having my own birthday. not much one can do to change this, of course. but i hate the concept of having people suck up to you for a full 24 hours. i don't like telling people it's my birthday unless they are my friends (in which case they probably know, and are wonderful and i adore them). the enthusiastic responses from strangers usually seem full of bullshit, and i don't like the attention, and it makes me uncomfortable. according to a wise old owl, maybe i need to learn to relax before october seventh rolls around. i doubt it'll work this year.

friends. i don't have a distinctive circle of friends in college. they are scattered across campus in a million other circles. theater kids, floormates, FYSOP buddies, work friends, classmates, et cetera. and i wish there was just one person who i could call any time. but the one possibility of that has totally faded away, and he's preoccupied and i feel like an idiot for thinking i was a priority at some point. i don't like being a weight on someone's legs. i need to stop asking for his advice, need to not hope to see his screen name as soon as i sign online. this is pathetic, and i am making a fool of myself.

i don't know what else is really worth mentioning. it's just a bad time in general. i miss home, i miss liz, i miss my dogs, i miss my dad. things will fall into place. but right now i'm stuck with this mess for a bit longer.

(4 | ///)

[03 Sep 2005|10:22pm]

do something. please.

(7 | ///)

[31 Aug 2005|12:05pm]
back to boston tomorrow. can't wait.

(1 | ///)

[15 Jul 2005|07:23pm]
change of plans, finally something to lift my spirits. i'll be visiting the new york city and new jersey area early next month, from the fourth to the eighth. tali, linds (and sarah too if you can make it into the city), i fully expect to be seeing all of you. steve, monday at zen palace for lunch? tali, is it alright if i crash at your place on thursday night? other than that, i'll either be with the wonderful lindsey moss in manhattan, or in jersey with the boy i've been missing for months. can't wait to see you east coasters again. love you much.

(4 | ///)

getting it off my chest [29 Jun 2005|01:17am]
for the record, i've been happy lately. things are good. israel was amazing, and i want to move back there as soon as i can. work's going well, my family and friends are healthy, things are settling into their places.

and yet there's so much nonsense going on, that keeps me from falling asleep at night. i'm lonelier here than i've felt in ages. i'm in love, and he's far away. or i think i'm in love. and it'll be another two months until i can see him. for now all i've got is the phone and the computer and the occasional letter, all of which does very little to comfort me. meanwhile i'm dating someone here who feels like dead weight tied around my ankles. someone who doesn't show me that he has any passion for life or his ambitions, someone who just moves along however the tide pulls him. i smell like pot all the time and i don't smoke. tonight he took me with him to run an errand, it ended up being a deal. i drove home feeling numb. i'll end it tomorrow, i think. and the los angeles thing in general, just leaves me disappointed. i'd rather be in boston. away from family, because all it seems to do is drag me down. i want to be back in boston. this isn't home anymore. there isn't one at all. and i hate the fact that i don't have one, because everything's so damned transitory. the past year, i've been uprooted. there can't be relationships, because every six months you're somewhere new. i couldn't handle anything with prince charming in los angeles because i was scared of what would happen when i fell for him and then left for boston in january. and i fell for one of the most amazing men i've ever met, and now he's three thousand miles away and i can't tell him how i feel because it'd just be words uttered over the phone or written in a letter, and that doesn't do justice to how much i care. hell, i hate it.

this is a strange kind of lonely. it's hard to define. i know i've got friends here. i know i'm loved. but i'm torn in half, with one side of me glad to be here, and the other wishing i was gone. it's impossible to live like that. i need some kind of answer. i need september, now.

(8 | ///)

[25 May 2005|11:50am]
EL AL Flight Number LY106 departs USA on:
Thursday 26 May '05 from LAX at 12.30 p.m.
Arrival in Israel on:
Friday 27 May '05 at 16.20 p.m.

EL AL Flight Number LY105 departs Israel on:
Tuesday 7 June '05 from Ben Gurion Airport at 00.55 a.m.
Arrival at LAX on:
Tuesday 7 June '05 at 10.20 a.m.

this'll be good for me.

(3 | ///)

[19 May 2005|12:21am]
[ mood | tired as hell ]

it's about time i updated this thing.

i'm back in los angeles for summer, flew in last friday night. since then i've been spending my time stirring up trouble with a handful of you, working, and fighting with the mother hen of this household.

highlights include sexual harassment by my best friend fo' lyfe's little sister; drew almost getting hit (again) by a car; playing tag on the 405; and great conversations with you guys and dolls.

lowlights include too much work for not enough tips; and the usual ever-failing attempts to coexist with my mother.

i leave for israel in one week and twelve hours. this is most definitely a highlight. i'll be back the seventh of june. meanwhile, can't wait to board that plane.

thank you's to liz, derek, mike, lisa, drew, and josh for getting me through the past few days. i love you kids so much, and i wouldn't be able to stand the summers at home if it weren't for you.

if you're in town and i haven't seen you yet, please do call me (or call me back) -- i want to have some time with you! the other breaks have all been so rushed, but there's actually some space and time now. let's make it happen, babes.


(17 | ///)

an interview [07 May 2005|08:26pm]
[ mood | rainy outside ]

1. leave me a comment saying, "interview me."
2. i will respond by asking you five questions. i get to pick the questions.
3. you will update your lj with the answers to the questions.
4. you will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. when others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

my questions, provided by the lovely miss katie...Collapse )


[27 Apr 2005|08:06pm]
hey, you know, i'll get through this.

i always do.

(14 | ///)

[13 Apr 2005|05:32pm]
[ mood | sunny ]

i am inexplicably happy right now.

after sleeping through my one and only lecture of the day,
cashing a paycheck that i should have put into savings,
spending a too-large sum of money on shoes and new parfum,
finding out that the levi's store in the pru closed,
and facing the realization that i may have to wait another summer for israel.

maybe it is because

i'm listening to beautiful, pure, "in-love-with-life" music right now,
the weather is gorgeous and it feels more like summer every day,
everyone around me seems to sense that summer's coming too,
i got a surprise out-of-the-blue phone call from a friend, just to say hi.
and i have a strange feeling that everything is in order right now.

this is the sort of day that you live for.


[09 Apr 2005|12:44pm]
the music makes everything perfect.

OAR with Ari Hest -- mind-blowing. jam-packed. feet-stomping. high-volume everything. craaazy.

The Wailers with DeSoL -- beautiful. hip-swinging. latin dancing. classic reggae. legendary. spiritual. awakening.

and the indie-boy philosophy major with dreadlocks and idealistic, dreamer mentalities. salsa'd together. great conversation about music, travels, and street murals/stencil art. walked me back to warren after the show, arm in arm. instant connection. plans to go to damian marley's show together on the 20th. picture perfect.

this week was beautiful. last night was unforgettable. i am happy. i feel alive.

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